Surrender

If you know me at all, you probably know that I am a planner at heart. I live by my hour-by-hour purple planner and I have (or had) my entire class list at Mercer planned out via Excel sheet saved on my computer.
Well, today, at a church, I shared my testimony. I talked about how although in the search to find something to make me feel whole in this world, I suffered a lot and went through so many situations that were detrimental to my spirit- but even though those things happened, I knew that the Lord had been with me all the way and knew what was best for me. All of the things that hurt me at the time, like not getting into the school I wanted to, my grandmother dying, relationships crumbling- they led me to my knees and eventually God worked them together to get me here in a place where I feel more loved, more purposeful, and more joyful than any other time in my life. Not only that, but the most growth I have ever felt in my walk with the Lord has occurred here.
After saying all of that, I proceeded to spend the rest of the evening distracting myself with possibilities. Possibilities upon possibilities about where I may end up in the next four years-planning, anguishing over details, overall breaking my trust in God for my own selfish gain.
But what do I gain?
Matthew 6, which I apparently still cannot get into my head from last night says that I gain nothing from stressing myself out about the future- God knows where I will be and what I will be doing. I don't need to know- all I need to do is serve Him and glorify Him where He has put me right now. How easily I forget what a blessing it is for me to even be here, even if just for a moment!
I can't be in two places in time at once, but God has my life planned out to the t, and He knows exactly what's good for me.
Pray that I will be able to surrender to that and trust that God will place me where I ought to be, and that I can focus on the amazingly awesomely wonderfully perfect place that God has put me right now. Well, perfect for me. I cannot get over how much I love this place.
In any case, exciting news- We had block parties for the kids and preteens on Saturday- ours was super precious. It was farm themed, and all of the kids got little farm animal visors and got to have fun and all that jazz, so hopefully any new ones will come back for club tomorrow! Also, a Korean church is helping at all 3 centers next week, so pray that we will be equipped to lead them with humility and love.