Wow.

I really couldn't think of a better title than that. I mean, really. I don't think you understand how good our God is. I certainly don't. Daily, God blesses me and loves me more than I can imagine- and I'm floored.
Well, I'm home. It's super surreal. Since I left 10 months ago, I've been hoping and praying and wanting to be back here doing what is so close to my heart, and I'm here and it simply doesn't feel real. It feels like I never left.
Already, though, God is teaching me. I know this will be another summer of good, hard, heart-wrenchingly beautiful lessons.
I had myself entirely geared for differences this year. We only have 13 missionaries, as compared to 21 last summer. I have a new bed (by choice, haha-it's a lot darker and quieter in my new corner), new friends (plus Lauren and Karenie, my dear friends and sisters from last summer), and expected and prepared my heart to be in a new center.
Ha.
Just when I was completely at peace with the idea of meeting new kids and doing new things and loving them all the same no matter what, as we played a game of heads up seven up (no really, we're that awesome) to see who was at which center, Gano and Fletcher missions were chosen.. and, well, I wasn't. Imagine my confusion. Our supervisor, Ginger, has a strict policy against sending returning missionaries to the same center.
Well, some things change. I'm not complaining. Nor is Lauren. We're actually quite elated.
Here's the deal, though. This year, I'm Joy center's 'team leader.' Woah. So, as I said, a summer of learning. I really am excited to see God work in my weakness, through water or fire-His will is good.
I really can't express my excitement. I'm still having to pinch myself, though. Going to my favorite places, seeing my favorite people, the amazing staff that I love, being back with friends, being in a place that I feel is so close to God's heart... I'm humbled by God's love. Eight months ago, I didn't think I would have the opportunity to come.
God really does work all things together for good. Really, He does.
No, really.
Even after a tough semester, where honestly, I feel like I didn't leave much with, God has me back here where He brought my heart so desperately and happily in love with Him- and just as Jesus brought Peter back to where they first met, reminding him of his betrayal in John 21-here I am, reminded of my brokenness, yet at the same time hopeful-because our God is faithful and abounding in steadfast love (it says so in Psalm 86 :)
So meditate on that, breathe it, and remember: Though we fall time and time again, God will bring us back to where we have been in pure communion, reminding us of where we've been, not to hurt us, but to show us that He loves us more than we can even begin to know.
That being said, please continue to keep our team in your prayers- pray for unity and strength and that we will rely on God throughout the summer and never get weary of time with Him. Pray for me, please. Pray that I will lead as Christ did-not as someone above, but as a servant leader in humility, relying on His word. Pray for the people we will be serving this summer, that their hearts will be open and that we will have opportunity upon opportunity to share God's love with them- and that the love we have for them is not ours, but God's.
I love you all a lot! Grace and peace!